Word of the Night: Methuselah

noun

 1. a patriarch who lived 969 years. Gen. 5:27.

2. an extremely old man.

3. a very large wine bottle holding 6 1   quarts (6 liters).

Yes, it’s my birthday.  And I am that old.  At least some mornings I feel like I am.  But I suppose that’s why they make Aleve.

How old will I get to be?  I used to think it if I had it my way, there would be no end.  I thought maybe by the time I got to my 80’s or 90’s they would have a cure for death.  Because when I stop to think about it, really think about it.  No longer existing.  No more thoughts.  No more experiences.  No sensation, awareness or relationship to others.  I become overwhelmed with feelings of dread and despair.  I get pissed off at the universe.  How could you do this to me?  As Bugs Bunny said so eloquently, “I’m too me to die.”

Someone once asked me, “What would you like to accomplish before you die?”

My answer: “Overcome my fear of death.”  

In trying to accomplish this goal and also avoid that troublesome feeling of dread and despair, whenever I contemplate the meaning of existence, I try looking at the big picture.   Okay, my little individual life will end sometime in the far off long away future, but maybe we’re all part of some ongoing process.  Maybe what I learn and experience is never really lost.  My life matters because  it contributes to the collective consciousness that lives on through endless cycles of expansion and contraction and…you know what?  It would be much easier for you to just go and watch 12 Monkeys.

Advertisements

One thought on “Word of the Night: Methuselah

  1. I overcame my fear of death when I was 15, not a normal accomplishment, but I was in unusual circumstances. I’m now 30 and am more scared of lasting too long and ending up a dribbling mess. I decided a long time ago that there is a few possible outcomes ‘after death’ and without becoming preachy, either as mulch or reincarnated I’ll manage to help somehow 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s